Coaches, Take Note – You need a confident referee
Welcome to issue #03 of Referees Playbook. Each week, I send one short essay that helps sports fans understand the view of a referee.
Coaches, Take Note - Here’s how referees stay confident in the heat of the game.
How to be unshakeably confident in the face of scrutiny.
Confidence isn’t something you’re born with. It’s something you earn. For sports referees, it can be life or death.
Referees know the feeling:
The crowd’s roaring
The coach is yelling
The team surrounds
One hesitant call can spiral into self-doubt and fear.
This is my short guide to stepping onto the field with calm and confidence.
I hear it all the time: “I lack confidence” “I lost my confidence” “I want to be more confident”
But what does that actually mean? We know how it feels.
It’s easy to recognise, but
Difficult to define
Difficult to coach
Difficult to build
Confidence is an invisible edge that makes a referee great. It’s not about swagger, status, a puffy chest, or shouting.
It’s the quiet assurance that you’re ready to make the call, even when the crowd roars and the bench screams.
Advice to coaches: You make things worse
When your players make a bad decision, what’s your approach? Do you scold, show aggression, and distaste?
Would such an approach be effective in seeing them improve their performance, and get the next decision right?
In 25 years, I’ve seen this 1000 times:
Referee makes a mistake
Coach shouts and criticises
Referee loses confidence
More mistakes follow
Coaches – You need a confident referee!
In a world where sportsmanship toward referees is often poor and mistakes can haunt, confidence is everything.
3 Steps to build referee confidence
1. Prepare Relentlessly
To put it bluntly – Do the work.
Study your rulebook, consume game footage, do the running, hit the gym.
If you’re serious about your craft, apply the seriousness of a competitive athlete.
When you’re prepared, hesitation fades.
2. Create Trusted Systems
Build routines that calm and anchor your performance.
Pre-Game rituals: build routines and triggers
Peer support: have people you call on
Reflection: note takeaways and work-ons
These all count. Be professional in your approach.
3. Master Your Mindset
I was at a pub in my hometown after a local test series, and the Irish coach at the time put his arm around me, pulled me in close, looked me dead in the eye and said this:
"To be a successful umpire - make confident calls, review the clips, learn from them, and then move on."
Simple yet effective - His enthusiasm, a couple of beers in at the time, stuck with me.
His Confident Formula:
Let go of being perfect! It’s an illusion.
Stand tall, speak clearly, and stay calm.
Review. Learn. Move on.
Confidence isn’t arrogance.
Don’t fall into the trap!
Arrogance infuriates. Confidence earns respect.
Arrogance inflates ego. Confidence focuses on fairness.
Arrogance depletes credibility. Confidence earns trust.
A great referee admits mistakes, listens to feedback, and focuses on serving the game, not stealing the spotlight.
Earn Your Edge
Confidence is a skill you build through preparation, systems, and mindset.
I feel good when I’ve done the yards locally, engaged with my peers, helped the juniors, and been an advocate of the game in my community.
Sport needs confident referees, do you agree?