The dark side of refereeing: One call. One decision shatters dreams – and I’m the villain.

I’m on the big game at the main venue. The crowd has shown in their thousands for the business end of the tournament. It’s a big clash between two rival teams. Both are known for their talent, flair, emotion, and full commitment to every game.

No beers, no blowouts. How refereeing killed my social calendar, but built a life.

I’m fighting 22 athletes every weekend while praying the kid doesn’t wake up at 5am!

Midlife crisis? Or an international referee?

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• Part-Time Athlete

• Full-Time Employee, Dad and Husband

• Forget mates and going to the pub

I asked ChatGPT – What does Sport NZ do for referees?

The answer motivated me to write to the Chief Executive of Sport New Zealand.

Here’s ChatGPT’s Short Answer:

“Sport NZ provides far less direct support for referees/umpires than for players or coaches.”

“Officials get minimal funding - mostly indirect via National Sport Orgs, free guides, anti-abuse resources, and tiny shares of scholarships.”

Following my interests into sport and refereeing

Calendar jam packed full of meaningless meetings?

Rush through morning commutes?

Forward emails to nowhere?

The death of your career has already begun, assuming you haven’t already silently quit.

The Corporate Ladder is Crumbling – Are You Ready for the AI Wake-Up Call?

Put your own life mask on first!

One of the most impactful things I’ve done this year was to enlist the support and guidance of a personal coach.

Leader, sport coach, or referee? Each of these roles invests time and effort into the development of others. Building people up.

So, at the most fundamental level:

“If you can’t justify investing in your own growth and development, why should your people believe and follow you?”

How to Shine in Unfamiliar Territory.

This month, I got to perform at national and international levels at two incredible tournaments.

My biggest reflection on both opportunities is this:

Can you perform with the same confidence and freedom on the big stage as you do within your comfort zone?

From the First Whistle.

As an international hockey umpire, my biggest challenge is switching from months of preparation to peak performance from the first whistle.

Test matches are rare; my last game was the FIH Pro League in India, Feb 2025. Next week I fly to Darwin for a World Cup qualifier series between Australia and New Zealand.

The outcome could hinge on just two matches.

10-Years in, I think I’ve finally climbed over the wall!

Confidence - The Secret Sauce

• It’s not something you tell yourself in the mirror.

• It’s not something you attract or memorize.

• It’s not something you supplement for.

It takes hard work and structured effort.

Confidence for a leader, coach, or sports referee is the key that unlocks all doors. Ensures you can work every room, and perform on every stage.

Confidence is the key to the city. 🔑

It was our regional final match, played on the #1 pitch at my local ground, in front of the best crowd seen all season. A fine but chilly late afternoon game as the sun set…

Trust me, I get it. I live this reality:

• They’re yelling

• They’re screaming

• They’re in your face

Every system in our bodies switches to fight or flight response.

Because let’s face it, it feels like we’re under attack.

What if the fastest way to be a better referee isn’t more matches

But it was teaching someone else? Would you want in on this secret?

I’m proud to be a Hockey New Zealand Umpire.

The pressure to live up to the history is a challenge. But also, something we focus on nurturing.

A dig into the truth behind umpiring hockey in New Zealand.

As a young adult, I was a bit of a mess:

• I dropped out of school

• Flunked out on a trade

• Fired from several jobs

But one thing stuck – Refereeing sport.

The Referees' Dilemma

I hear it all the time - “We just want consistency.”

Picture This: Ronaldo dribbles into the penalty area, he goes down easy in a challenge, and the reff calls a penalty.

You Know The Scene…

Coaches, Take Note - Here’s how referees stay confident in the heat of the game.

How to be unshakeably confident in the face of scrutiny.

Confidence isn’t something you’re born with. It’s something you earn. For sports referees, it can be life or death.

We interviewed Josh Burt - Current Tournament Director of the Hockey Pro League.

He said something that stuck with me:

“I want umpires to start thinking differently: To focus on what is done well instead of dwelling on the negative.”

An open letter from an average sports official:

I’ve umpired field hockey for 25 years, from grassroots to international level. I’ve also been a sports fan in New Zealand since the mid-90s.

Here’s what I’ve observed:

• Players cross the white line and say things they wouldn’t usually say

• Coaches scream and belittle from the first whistle

• Parents mock and ridicule from the sideline