Need Your Kids to Grow Up?
Welcome to issue #05 of Referees Playbook. Each week, I send one short essay that helps sports fans understand the view of a referee.
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As a young adult, I was a bit of a mess:
I dropped out of school
Flunked out on a trade
Fired from several jobs
But one thing stuck – Refereeing sport.
When everything else felt like a dead-end, it gave me a purpose. Something I could improve on. Somewhere to be on the weekend. A community to connect with and serve.
I believe it taught me the ‘Trifecta of Personal Growth’
Develop my confidence
Communicate effectively
Regulate my emotions
3 Game-Changing Skills For Young People
‘The trifecta of Personal Growth’
Refereeing teaches skills you can’t learn in the classroom.
1. Developing Confidence
Standing in front of players, coaches, and crowds forces you to own your decisions and be comfortable in your own skin.
Every time you step into the arena, every call you make builds self-assurance that spills into other parts of life.
2. Effective Communication
You learn to explain yourself quickly. Organise and verbalise your thoughts. Diffuse tense situations and navigate courageous conversations.
Common challenges for all professionals.
3. Emotional Regulation
Dealing with angry captains and coaches, or upset spectators teaches you to stay calm under pressure.
Learning ways to mentally keep yourself calm, reframe challenges, and remain professional when players can’t.
Refereeing – The Million Dollar Leadership Course
These skills: Confidence, Effective Communication, and Emotional Regulation are gold in high-stakes environments in personal, professional, and performance settings.
Institutions spend millions designing courses to teach what a good referee experiences and delivers in every game for the price of a whistle and a pair of boots.
A world of more young referees would build
1. Stronger leaders
2. Better teammates
3. Resilient individuals
CEOs pay thousands to learn and practice these skills in corporate training and workshops.
Refereeing is real-world training that can shape young people into adults who can handle life’s curveballs.
An Unconventional Vehicle for Leadership
Refereeing isn’t just about reading the rulebook and calling fouls. It’s unconventional leadership in action.
When you make split-second decisions in front of a screaming bench, you learn to trust your gut in spite of fear and judgement.
You learn to back yourself in the toughest moments.
Every explanation to a heated coach sharpens your ability to communicate with clarity. And every moment you stay calm under fire hones your resilience and emotional strength.
As a young referee, I learned to lead by managing games, and those lessons now shape how I inspire others in sport development.
So Why Does This Matter?
In an increasingly chaotic and uncertain world for young people, the life lessons from refereeing sport are relevant.
No matter what the pressure.
Young people who referee learn to:
Stand tall
Speak clearly
Keep their cool.
If you know a young person who needs to grow up. Hand them the whistle.
It might be the one thing that sticks, just like it did for me.
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