Good Sportsmanship is Dead.
Welcome to issue #01 of Referees Playbook. Each week, I send one short essay that helps sports fans understand the view of a referee.
Good sportsmanship is dead.
An open letter from an average sports official:
I’ve umpired field hockey for 25 years, from grassroots to international level. I’ve also been a sports fan in New Zealand since the mid-90s.
Here’s what I’ve observed:
Players cross the white line and say things they wouldn’t usually say
Coaches scream and belittle from the first whistle
Parents mock and ridicule from the sideline
What is it about being bound by a game, and a sports field?
All of a sudden, normal everyday people lose their sense of human decency and respect. Imagine haggling, confronting, and criticizing a stranger in the supermarket you didn’t agree with. Or having a crack at someone in line for takeout.
You wouldn’t do it. Why is the sports field different?
You hear it all the time, but umpires and referees are human.
They’re sons, daughters, dads, sisters and mothers.
They have dreams, fears, and battle scars.
Most of the time, they live not far from you.
They’re interested in the same things as you.
They walk, talk, and treat people the same as you.
But a mistake on a sports field, and none of this seems to matter.
The person you are to your friends, to your partner goes out the window. The example and values you set for your kids, all of a sudden, they don’t apply.
Excuses I hear: “It’s just part of the game” or “Passion fuels competition”.
Some say yelling is ‘just passion.’ But passion doesn’t need to hurt others. You can be fiercely competitive and still shake hands after a loss. Respect doesn’t weaken the game - it makes it stronger.
So what can be done?
For Parents: Pledge to cheer positively and respect officials.
For Coaches: Lead by example. If you disagree with a call, discuss it calmly after the game, not during.
For Clubs: Run workshops on sportsmanship, like those trialed by some Kiwi rugby clubs, to teach kids and parents about respect.
For Officials: Create support networks for umpires to share experiences and cope with abuse.
Broader Community: Celebrate good sportsmanship with awards and recognition to shift the focus from winning to values.
Good sportsmanship isn’t dead - it’s just asleep.
Let’s wake it up. Next game, cheer for effort, thank the ref, and show your kids what respect looks like. New Zealand’s sports fields deserve better.
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