The Pain of One Decision – A Referee’s Nightmare
Under Lights in Chennai, India
I’m on the big game at the main venue. The crowd has shown in their thousands for the business end of the tournament. It’s a big clash between two rival teams. Both are known for their talent, flair, emotion, and full commitment to every game.
There’s a cool evening breeze, and we’re playing under lights. The stadium lights up one of the bustling city centres of India. There’s something about being under lights, when the crowd tempers along with the highs and lows of the game, that makes things feel slightly surreal. Like you’re inside a bubble, where everything existing outside seems of no importance or value.
Building to the Moment
From the far side of the pitch, my view includes the team benches and the towering stand behind them, full of local and traveling fans. The game has been electric, and as expected, has delivered in all-out action. My colleague is a friend from Malaysia, one of the best on the continent, and a previous room mate who I feel comfortable with.
From our perspective as the referees, things are going well; we’ve only needed to intervene in a few key moments. We’ve managed emotions, remained highly accurate, kept things fair, and:
Most importantly: avoided any controversy. This is the ultimate goal on such a high profile match.
We’ve both carried ourselves strongly through a gruelling 15-day tournament, umpiring at least once a day with either a reserve or a video box appointment as well. We’ve built up to this match and want to do our absolute best for the players and the tournament, providing the best service we can offer.
Four Minutes from the Finish Line
The final quarter ramps up in intensity, and I notice my emotions and mind start to pulse. The teams are also slipping into this mode, as fatigue and desperation start to creep in.
The players train for two years to make it to this moment. Most would only ever get the chance to compete at a junior World Cup once, few make it twice. Their build-up includes intense training, tours, and warm-up tournaments. Fitness testing, diet, time away from home, and major sacrifices in their freedom and social lives.
A huge commitment at the age of 19 or 20 for their number one cause: Win a gold medal for their country at a World Cup
The teams travel halfway around the world to land in India, sometimes weeks in advance. They have to adjust to the climate, playing surfaces, local conditions, what they can eat and drink safely, and of course, their opposition throughout the tournament.
The Crash. The Goal. The Whistle.
It all boils down to these final four minutes. A chance for both teams to make the final, a chance at glory, and to raise the trophy.
I’m on high alert as the ball tracks toward my end of the pitch down the right flank. I anticipate the play well, moving ahead into a close circle position where I can make any critical decisions with good proximity.
A crash ball rockets into my circle. An attacker and defender come together. There’s a touch, bodies collide, and the ball flies into the net.
Four minutes. Tied. Heart hammering louder than the crowd in my hears. My whistle hand twitches. I call a goal..
All Hell Breaks Loose
The whistle barely fades before the defending bench erupts – coaches on their feet, players charging, sticks waving like flags in a story.
The roar hits like a wall; I feel it in my chest. This is the pressure moment you train for.
The celebrating attackers hug and cheer in slow motion under the lights as the crowd erupts.
The defenders freeze, faces blank with disbelief. My mouth goes dry - I know what’s coming. Before I know it, I’m surrounded by the protesting defensive team.
Video Umpire: Tried, But Not Much Help
I make the correct decision to use my own umpire referral and send the decision upstairs for review. Such an important call, at this point of the match – We need to get it right.
The video umpire takes a long look from all possible angles. Onfield, it feels like an hour - You could cut the tension with a knife. Everyone knows this is likely to decide the match.
My pulse thuds in my ears louder than the stadium. Hands clammy waiting.. waiting.
I hear the video umpire’s voice - Bevan, there’s no advice possible, stick with your on-field decision.
The goal stands...
The Final Four Minutes
The score remains 2-1, and the final four mins play out.
The result is a referee’s living nightmare - A controversial decision I’ve made has had a huge impact on the outcome of the match, the one thing we try to avoid at all costs.
The losing team protests, taunts, and challenges me at the conclusion of the match and over the coming days. I’m literally looking over my shoulder for the remainder of the tournament.
Two years of anticipation, training, and struggle all boil over with one decision.
The Question That Haunts Every Referee
The worst-case scenario for a referee: A single decision shrouded in controversy, which, in the losing team’s view, is the single tipping point for their pain and loss.
All over live television for everyone to see. To have an opinion on, to form a view on what they would have done, to debate and point blame.
In sport, one decision under lights changes everything. I have to carry this one.
Questions I ask myself:
Does this call define me more than the hundreds of others made that night?
How do we carry the weight of choices we can’t undo?