Referees Can Be Heroes Too
The Kid on the Sideline Who Chose Me For Dinner
Welcome to issue #19 of Referee Playbook. A short essay fortnightly, exploring sport and life from the view of an international referee.
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The Kid on the Sideline
I’ve spent years coaching young umpires in my hometown. But this week, on the side of a U15 School Boys game, something really cut through.
I hurried through dinner with my own family before jetting off down the road to help the next generation of kids.
There is something special about it…. Remembering back to when I was a kid like them, and having someone take the time to make an effort to support me.
It meant a lot. It made a huge difference in my development.
I was making my way around the field. I often do this, just to get a sniff of the game, the spectators, the coaching staff, and the teams in their dugouts. Not only to get a sense of their mood, but also to let people know I’m there.
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The Sideline Encounter
I see a parent who I recognize.
She used to drop her then 10 or 11 year old into my local club where I would facilitate workshops.
This kid was the definition of keen. He would come to both the youth and adult workshops, but that didn’t bother me. I would reassure his Mum that I would keep an eye on and also made sure he felt welcome with the adults.
I always remember his hand jetting up when I would ask the room a question, to the point we would nearly fall off his chair.
Anyway, I bump into her on the sideline as he is playing in the game. He’s just started at high school where he had to interview with the principal to get a spot in the boarding house.
The principal asked him a question: If you could have 1 person in the world around for dinner, who would it be?
His answer? Bevan Nichol, the international hockey umpire.
He had gone on to explain to the principal how he loved playing as well as umpiring hockey, and that I was an inspiration for him. The principal had taken a real shine and interest into this response, and he got a spot at the school.
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My Immediate Reaction
I Tried To Play It Cool
In the moment, I laughed and brushed it off.
I guess that’s what kiwis do. But then, after the game and as I was coaching the two umpires for the game, he came over to chat.
I noticed how happy he seemed to be to see me, how he was keen to make conversation, and didn’t seem like he wanted to leave and make his way home.
It all made sense.
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The Drive Home Realisation
On the drive home, it really struck me. This kid - this regular, passionate young lad - sees me as his hero. Not a superstar player. Not a celebrity. An umpire.
Me… just a regular battler trying my best to help kids like him, and chase a dream and the challenge of refereeing my favorite sport at the very top level.
I realized how special this was. How strange it felt, but also a sense of responsibility now for this little dude.
When I got home, I dug through a drawer and found one of my international shirts with all the branding and logos on it.
I’m going to deliver it to him at his next match.
Encourage him, take an interest in his game, and offer him some pointers.
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Why This Matters
There’s probably not a chance I can make him realize how meaningful this little experience has been for me.
But I can try to make his day, and that’s what I’ll do.
Sometimes the smallest recognition reminds us why we do this often thankless, invisible work. In one breath, i’m coping with endless criticism from the sidelines, yet here’s a kid who sees the value in what I do.
It can be an incredibly lonely journey. A long time between meaningful thank you’s, tournaments to see friends, or a visit from a coach.
But every now and then, I get a little reminder that there could be a kid on the sideline watching the person they hope to become one day.
What a feeling!
Have you had a moment of influence on someone else in your sport or career?